Yesterday was a very bad day for me. A very bad day indeed. You see I have been putting something off for a long while now and finally went though with it. I got on the scales to find out what my weight is. No I am not going to give you the details, suffice to say three people are aware of the truth and that is enough. My point is this: I am really good at deceiving myself and thinking that I am not as bad as I actually am.
This has got me thinking, how many other things am I deceiving myself with? You see the fact that I am very large seems to have escaped nobody but myself. Despite the fact that I am ever more resembling a weeble ( you know: Weebles wobble but they don't fall down) I seem to think its not really that bad. Now while the diet is well and truly back on a really horrible thought strikes me.
You see everyone else can look at me and know the truth. I am getting heavier and heavier and something needs to be done. But I can deceive myself that it really is not that bad. I just wonder what in my life I am missing? What I mean is that if I can miss something that is so obvious what else am I missing that is sinful? Am I actually doing things that are sinful without even knowing it or worse deceiving myself that they are not a problem. Worse is it something everyone else knows about? Can they see my sin even when I cannot? The Bible tells us to examine ourselves. 2 Corinthians 13 v 5 says:
5Examine yourselves to see whether you are in the faith; test yourselves. Do you not realize that Christ Jesus is in you—unless, of course, you fail the test?
I know I really need to examine myself more thoroughly and to stop decieving myself that I am better than I really am.
Dear Lord and Heavenly Father,
Help me to see my sin clearly, help me to not deceive myself any longer. Let me see my sin for what it is so that I can lay it at the foot of the cross. Lord help me to recognise the areas in my life that are sinful and help me to lay control over them to you.